"The Letter"

 Shortly after Paul's change of heart to adopt, we found ourselves in the midst of conversations about adopting and at times I felt as though I was alone.  We had some serious talks about us not adopting if I was going to do it on my own.  Paul said he was on board but sometimes he would say things that made me think it was all on me (some of it was him joking, but I didn't think it was funny).  I only wanted to move ahead if he had just as strong of a desire as I did.  I knew we had to be on the same page.  As much as I wanted to adopt I knew we couldn't do it if I was the only one dedicated.  He couldn't just be along for the ride.  One Sunday morning Paul had the opportunity to preach. I opened my Bible to the passage of scripture we were reading and found this letter folded up in my Bible.  (He was encouraged by a similar action taken by Pastor and author John Piper with his own wife during their own adoption.  He said that much of Piper's letter communicated exactly how he felt.  And so he re-worked Piper's letter to our own context).

Dear Suzanne,

            I want to communicate to you in writing, (since I often do it better that way) my feelings regarding this adoption that our Great God has directed us into.  I want you to know that with confidence in the all-sufficient present and future grace of God, I am ready and eager to move ahead with the adoption of our son in Africa.  I want to thank you for the kind patience that you have shown me in these last two years, since that ember for adoption planted long ago by the Holy Spirit in your heart was stoked again to a beautiful blaze.  You have not badgered me or used that womanly power to convince me.  You have dealt sweetly and honestly about my reservations.  You have supported me in my calling present and future and have not hindered me from considering God’s leading.  You have been a wonderful picture to me of that Biblical woman with a gentle and quiet spirit; that Proverbs 31 lady whom husband and children shall call blessed.

            I realize with others before me that “the mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  This decision is not simply a consideration of pros and cons.  So many of the cons to not adopt that I consider are self centered and are not Kingdom minded.  I am persuaded that this decision to adopt honors God more than not adopting.  I am motivated and persuaded as well by the kind and loving act of adoption that God exercised towards us before the foundation of the world through our Lord Jesus Christ.  I am convinced that this path we are on will cast the vision to hundreds of others regarding the adoption that is from our Father in Heaven.  And that it will result as well in many responding in numerous ways to look after the orphans of our world.  As another pastor said on the matter, “I believe it is the path of the greatest love for the greatest number.  And therefore I have confidence that God is pleased with it.”  Many will be blessed and will go on to be a blessing to the world through this journey the Lord has put us on.

            I choose with you to adopt, not under constraint or with any reservation of commitment.  I forsake any and every thought that, because you initiated this idea, that you should bear blame for the burdens it will bring.  I forsake all tendencies I might have to suggest that this process is “yours to bear”.  And just as in choosing with you to bring our own children into this world, I again with you choose to bring one from outside of our Covenant family into our midst to be our own and to take our name and to be loved and to receive all of the benefits that come with being our child.  And of course, I rely upon our Great God to bring to fruition this addition to our family just as we have done with our five current children.  I commit to walking together with you as well through the trials that we will enter into through this journey of adoption and will gladly receive that work of God’s Spirit in them to sanctify us both.

            I thank God for you and I enter with you gladly on this path.  And there is no other person I would rather walk this road with than you.  I will relish the days, months and years that the Lord has in mind for us as a family.  I will embrace with you this new son, and will along with you, and through the work of God’s grace, love Him into the Family of God, that he too by God’s grace would also become an adopted son of the King.

I love you Suzanne,

Paul

Yes, I sat there crying in the middle of the service and felt quit confident we were on the same page and I was not in this on my own.  I am so thankful he communicated with me.  That seems to be the center of most of our disagreements (lack of communication).  I knew I couldn't move ahead if I had any doubt.  That Sunday all my doubts disappeared, and I was then confident we were both in this 100%.
 

His Grace is Glorious, Suzanne

I wonder how his Christmas was?

 We got our second group of paperwork in the mail on December 23rd.  Yes,  that was two days before Christmas.  In the midst of shopping, wrapping, cooking, preparing for family, visiting family, hosting family, we somehow managed to buckle down and work on paperwork.  I thought the best gift I could give our sweet boy was to put something in the mail that would move us one step closer to bringing him home.  We did have a wonderful Christmas.  My mom was able to be with us and stayed for five days which is a real treat.  It began snowing late on Christmas day and is was beautiful. 

Several times during our Christmas morning when we were opening presents I thought about him.  What was he doing?  While we were in our house full of gifts, good food, and family, where was he?  Was his little tummy full like ours?  Did he have family around him like we did?  Christmas was bitter sweet for me, but I am praying that the God who loves him more than I do will give him a peace that passes all understanding, and give him protection that only God can give.   At the end of opening gifts, Paul gave me my gift.  We always say we aren't doing gifts for each other but he usually does something anyway even if it's small.    So he handed me my stocking and in it was Ehiopia memoribillia.  I was in heaven.  He got me a great Ethiopian t-shirt that says "mama" in Aharmic (the main language spoken in ET), an Ethiopian adoption magnet, and an adoption ornament.  Of course I started crying.  I loved all of it and it meant so much to me.  He knows me so well.  There is nothing I would have rather had. He got all of my stuff from http://www.cafepress.com/ .  They have shirts for grandparents and even aunts along with some other really cool stuff. 

Our kids drew names for gifts this year.  (gifts they would give each other).  We decided to add sweet boy to the drawing too.  All the kids wanted his name but Josiah (4 years old) got him.   He gave him a little moose with magnets in his hands and feet so the moose can hang from anything.  It was very cute.  So on Christmas morning Josiah opened sweet boy's gift to show everyone what he got him.  We have it sitting on my dresser and decided we would take it with us on our first visit to Africa to give him.  Today Josiah walked in my room, looked at the little moose and said "that's my little brother in Africa's toy".  I loved hearing the certainty in his voice.  He knew exactly who that toy belonged to, his little brother. 

I wish that precious boy knew how much he is thought of, talked about and prayed for.   I do feel like I'm starting to see a tiny light at the end of the tunnell with our end of the paperwork.  There is still much to be done, but we are also making some good progress.  We started to turn our attention to our homestudy agency, which is Bethany Christian Services (our adoption agency is unable to do our homestudy because they are out of state, so we are working with two agencies).  We are now working on filling out their application and other papers.  Once they "accept" our application, they will start our homestudy.  Once our homestudy is complete, we will send that (our homestudy) to our adoption agency and then they will look over all our paperwork from the homestudy.   Hopefully they will "approve" us and then put us on a refferal waiting list.  We will then WAIT for the in country staff in Ethiopia to match us with our sweet boy.  This is where the time goes by slow and the wait can be several months, like 6 months.  Once you're matched they will send you a refferal picture your child.   I can't wait for that email that will have his picture and I can see my son's face for the first time.  So we still have a long road ahead of us, but are praying for the Lords perfect timing.

His Grace is Glorious, Suzanne

Lemonade Stand in Tennessee

This is Amy, Suzanne's older sister.  I wanted to write and tell you about a fun project our family did to help raise money for Paul and Suzanne's adoption.  All summer my girls (ages 6 and 7) begged to have a lemonade stand in the neighborhood.  I kept telling them that when we had our neighborhood garage sale in the fall they could sell lemonade since there would be lots of foot traffic that day.  A week before the neighborhood-wide sale in September, I was reminded by my kids about their lemonade stand.  And then I had a GREAT idea. . . let's have a lemonade stand AND a bake sale and donate all of what we make to help bring our cousin home from Ethiopia.  I wasn't sure what the kids would think since they had been wanting to earn some extra money themselves.  I shared the idea with the girls and they LOVED it!  We shared it with Rick, my husband, and he was on board too.  The kids were so excited.  This was literally a last minute idea that would take a little work to pull off (at least the bake sale part).

I posted on facebook what we would be doing and had several people message me offering to bake items, help me to wrap my baked items and even donate lemonade to sell.  I was getting excited myself.  The girls made some great signs to display at the sale.

 On Friday, September 24th, I spent the day baking, dipping in chocolate, baking some more and wrapping all the baked goods.  I had several friends and neighbors stop by and drop off items they had made for us to sell.  They don't even know my sister, but wanted to help!  I loved it!  My friend, Amy, spent all morning at my house helping me get the signs ready, bringing a tent for us to use and, of course, dipping all sorts of treats in chocolate!  Rick volunteered to miss his Saturday morning bike ride to stay home and help with the sale.  This really was a family affair.  Our baby Max sat outside in his highchair while we set up and got everything looking great.  We decided (from the advice of friends who had done an adoption bake sale before) to accept donations, rather than pricing the items.  Here is what our sale looked like:

 We sold bottled water and lemonade, fresh pumpkin muffins, breads, strawberry cake truffles, fall party mix, cookies, brownies, chocolate dipped rice krispie treats and more!  People would choose several items and then ask what they owed.  We explained that we were taking donations for my sister's adoption so whatever they wanted to give would be perfectly fine with us.  It was neat to be able to answer questions people had and to hear some of their stories of their own adoptions.  I was astounded!!  While a few people gave a quarter or two, many people would hand me a $5 bill for 2-3 treats and tell me to keep it all.  We had some $20 donations too.  The girls got so excited with each bill or piece of change dropped into our donation can.  By 11:00 we were pretty much sold out.  It was wonderful.  After we packed up and came inside for lunch, we counted all of the money.  Do you know what God provided for the Sanders adoption through our last minute bake sale and lemonade stand?  You won't believe it. . . . how much do you think is in this can?

$468.80!!!!  I know how the little boy in the Bible must have felt when God turned his few loaves and fishes into enough food to feed the masses.  God took our can of lemonade mix, some bottled water and some baked treats and turned it into $468.80.  What an amazing way for God to provide.  And what a blessing for our family to have been part of it!  The best part was when we called Suz and Paul that afternoon to tell them what we had done.  We didn't tell them we were going to have the sale. . . we wanted it to be a surprise.  We put everyone on speaker phone and with much excitement screamed, "We have $468.80 to send you to bring our cousin home from Ethiopia!!"

My girls have already asked if we can do this again during our spring neighborhood sale.  They even saved the signs they made for our next sale.  This was a wonderful way for our family to be part of bringing home our new nephew and cousin! 

A Few Stories of Provision

           Our desire is that others participate in the joy and work of our adoption.  We are all called by our God to tend to the orphans of our world.  Yet we are not all able or called to adopt.  But we all can assist those who are adopting in various ways.  What follows are a few stories of God's hand of provision through others as we walk this road.

            To date, we have spent nearly $2,400 on this process.  And the Lord has graciously provided $2,300 in an array of ways.  And get this; this is all without us even asking anyone for a penny.  Now, for us to be able to follow this process to the end, it will require our God to provide the needed funds through others.  Our desire is that others will share in this journey with us and that a vision for ministry to orphans and adoption would be spread in the process.

                Our first testimony of provision goes back about one and a half years as we began collecting change for our adoption fund.  Week to week and month to month we would drop loose change and dollar bills in our Adoption Jug.  The kids would empty their piggy banks or put birthday money in the jug too.    When the week approached where our first fee would be due, we began to cut into the jar (it took my RAMBO knife as you can see in the picture).  Suzanne and I both thought we had around $200.   We were blown away to find that as a family we saved $431 in change and cash which explained to Suzanne why we had a number of months that seemed even "tighter" than usual (though she was the one dropping most of our cash in the jug).  The very night we counted our own savings, our plumber came by to get a check for some work he had done (septic issues... imagine that with a family of 7).  The excitement of our children over our evening's activity moved him to add $5 of his own to our stash!

            Suzanne’s sister, Amy (in Nashville) and her children had a creative idea around that same time that she will soon share herself on our blog. 

One Sunday, a precious 8 year old girl in our church came to Suzanne with an envelope.  She said it was to help get our little boy from Africa.  It had around $40 in it.  She had taken it upon herself to sale lemonade at her neighborhood yard sale.  She asked her grandparents if perhaps they could go to the airport since there were more people there so she could get more money for our African son.  When her uncle (whom we do not know) heard what she had done, he was then spurred on by her generosity to send her $50 for her to give to us!  What is all the more overwhelming is that all her actions were within three weeks of this precious girl losing her mother to cancer.

            Other dear friends have sent us a check here and there as well and so before we even ask, the Lord has continually affirmed this journey He is leading us on by His faithful provision.  One of those checks was for $1,000!  All of these stories are an integral part of our story of adoption and are testimonies, neither to me nor Suzanne, but to the glorious grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Now the time has come for us to begin to open further the door for others to be a part of our story through various ways of support.  Seeing the Lord’s provision in these early months gives us no doubt that He will do even more as we make the need known. 

Thus far our expenses have included the following:

Agency application

Ethiopian program and review fee

Health physicals

Updating of passports

Our upcoming expenses will include:

Blood work

Home study fees

Post-placement supervision and administration fees

Immigration approval

Fingerprint fees

Authentication of documents in the U.S.

Travel Visas

Foreign coordinator and source fees

These upcoming fees estimate to be around $13,000.  And then there will be the travel expenses.  Ethiopia requires two visits of one week each and so the total cost for flights and other travel expenses is estimated to be anywhere from $10-13,000.  Therefore we are in need of $26,000 or more when it is all said and done.

And so, we are seeking others for additional financial support in addition to the ongoing prayers of God's people.  What follows are the various ways that you can give towards our adoption.

1.                  The check is in the mail!  If you are able, you can simply write a check to Paul and Suzanne Sanders and send it to us at: 179 Society Hill, Spartanburg, SC 29306

2.                Pay Pal – We have set up an account online that you can donate directly to by linking to it directly from our blog which is found on the left side bar.

3.               Frequent Flyer Miles – If you have significant frequent flier miles that you are able to transfer to other individuals, then call us at 864-595-7398 that we might check on the possibility.  This could cut our expenses significantly as nearly 25% of our cost will be flights to Ethiopia.

4.               Have Your Own Special Sanders Adoption Money Jar in Your Home: Our adoption has served us well in shepherding our children in the area of orphan and cross cultural ministry.  Perhaps you could have a jar in your home where you collect change and cash for the months ahead to give towards our adoption while expanding your children's worldview in the process.

                   His Grace is Glorious,

                  

                 Paul

Package One Is In The Mail!

Well, we finally mailed off our first group of paperwork.  This was very exciting for me, even though this is one of about six or seven groups of paperwork that needs to be sent in.  I feel like it took us a really long time to get it all together.  I didn't realize the time it would take for Paul and I to wrap our heads around all the adoption lingo.  We would read and reread the same thing until we felt like we understood what we needed to do.  Now we think we've got it and it doesn't seem quit as daunting when we look over the next section we will be working on.  I also spent extra time trying to find a place to get bloodwork at the most affordable price.  Basically affordable bloodwork doesn't exist.  I wish I had known that before I spent a month calling different labs and clinics asking for their prices.  I have found myself getting very frustrated.  All I want is my sweet boy.  I don't want to raise money, save money, do paperwork, medical exams, etc.  All I want is him.  I just want to blink my eyes and see him in our  home.  I have brought 5 other children into the world and they were all easier and cheaper than #6.  Adoption is not for the weary of heart and I am just at the beginning.  We are committed to doing whatever it takes to get our boy.  Just like I would do for any of my other children.

His Grace is Glorious,
          Suzanne

Let The Journey Begin

This is a blog about our journey to adopt a son from Ethiopia...

I really want to tell my whole story of how we came to this point, but I think I will save that for future posts.  I will try to share a little bit so you know where I'm coming from.  I have thought about adoption ever since I was a little girl.  Paul on the other hand had no desire to do such a thing.  After child number 5 came, we decided we were done and we are both content with that sentiment.  That's when I began really asking Paul to consider adoption.  And now that we are adopting, I consider his desire now to adopt is nothing less than a miracle. 

Paul is a husband like many who thinks very practical.  The obstacles in his mind were many: How can I provide for 6 kids?  Can I even love an adopted child like one of my own?  Will I have enough time for each kid and any left over for myself?  He hated the thought of the life of an orphan, but wasn't going to let his emotions be the basis for his decision. 

Well God had other plans and completely changed his heart.  I was thrilled when he said he was open to it.  We had an opportunity to share our personal story with our church one Sunday night.  Paul also had the opportunity to preach a 3 part series on our adoption in Christ.  Our personal story shares all the details of the road we walked when we weren't on the same page, how God changed his heart, and where we are now in the process.  To listen to our personal story or to Paul's sermon series,  Click Here

We have chosen to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia, between the ages of 2-3 years.  We are super excited and our kids are thrilled.  They pray for him every night and at every meal.  It is tooo sweet.  We don't know who he is. We just picture a brown skinned  (as my kids would say), little boy.  We are not on the waiting list yet.  We are at the beginning of a lot of paperwork.  I mean a lot of paperwork. 

I wish our sweet boy was with us now.  Our family doesn't seem complete without him.  I can't believe the love I have for someone I don't know and have never seen.  We know this love is from the Lord.  Paul and I both know that love will continue to grow through this process and especially when we meet our sweet boy for the first time.  Please pray for us.  This is not a sprint but a marathon.

His grace is glorious,

        Suzanne